Caterpillars Can't Swim Read online

  “Ironic?” Cody asks. I’m not sure if he’s asking what the word means or how it applies to the headline.

  “Well, they called him disabled and then described how he threw himself off a bridge to save someone’s life.” She smiles at me, and I smile back so widely I can feel a tugging sensation where the glue is trying to hold my sideburns on.

  “Yeah, pretty stupid,” I add to the conversation brilliantly.

  “I agree. All those guys making a big deal because some guy on the swim team managed to save someone by swimming.” Cody shakes his head. I wonder if he’s been talking to Ricky recently.

  “You’re on the swim team?” Sophia’s eyes flicker over my legs in surprise. I guess she was focused on Cody when we talked about this yesterday.

  “They both are,” Clare says, glaring at her friend, who obviously wants to ask questions but isn’t sure how. A lot of people I meet for the first time don’t seem to be able to just talk to me naturally the way Clare and Cody both did. They either get too personal asking about my legs or they take the invisible wheelchair approach, trying so hard to be politically correct that they just pretend not to notice it at all.

  “He’s not as good as I am, seeing as I’m the captain and all…but he’s in the top five of swimmers who aren’t me,” Cody says helpfully. “Of course, there are only six guys on the team so that doesn’t mean much.” He laughs. Sophia looks a bit shocked. I crumple up my program and throw it at him. It misses, dropping down onto the floor. Clare picks it up and beams it at him, making him laugh harder as he bats it away with his shield.

  “You guys need to either move it or get out of line,” an angry voice comes from behind us.

  “Hey, chill out. We’re moving. Have some respect. We have a real-life hero with us,” Cody says to the giant-sized Deadpool standing behind us.

  “Whatever. Just keep moving, asshole.”

  “Cody, just do it,” I tell him, trying to avoid bloodshed.

  “All right, all right. Keep your pants on!” We all move forward. I can’t blame the guy behind us for being upset seeing as we’ve made it to the front of the line now and we’re holding everyone up.

  We get our autographs, which isn’t nearly as exciting as I expected it to be. Being handed a piece of paper by someone in full costume, who may or may not be the actual actor and doesn’t even say a single word to any of us, isn’t exactly the highlight of my day.

  “Time to eat, I think,” Cody announces, staring at his autographed picture like it’s the Holy Grail. My stomach definitely agrees. The stale muffin I ate this morning has long since become a distant memory.

  We head down to the arena so we can hit the food trucks. I sneak a look at my phone, hoping that Cody doesn’t notice. I’m really trying not to worry about Jack.

  “Do you need any help navigating in here?” Clare asks as we come into the room. It’s a lot more congested than yesterday, with bodies and tables jockeying for position on a floor that has basically disappeared under all the legs. There’s a jumble of colored asses directly in front of me, and it’s going to be tough getting through the crowd without running into or over something. Cody is usually the one who offers to get me through this sort of mess but he’s already tunneling his way through the crowd, with Sophia following close behind him. He’s probably forgotten we’re here.

  Should I be all manly and tell her I can do it myself and risk pissing off some super villain by running over his feet? Or do I suck it up and let her help? Which one would keep things comfortable between us?

  I take a deep breath.

  “Okay. Thanks. That would be great!” I yell it at her, emphasizing the last word. I seriously have to stop with the demented cheerleader routine.

  Clare doesn’t seem to notice as she takes control of my chair. I actually see the Batman Jack told me about as we thread our way up toward the food, and we exchange a quick smile.

  “What do you feel like eating?” Clare asks as we scan the options.

  “I’ll have whatever you have.”

  “I like sausage and sauerkraut. Lots of sauerkraut.” She moves into the lineup, letting me take over my own motion. It takes a while to get our food and it’s so noisy right here that talking isn’t really an option, so we just wait quietly. Clare smiles at me every once in a while. It’s the best smile I’ve ever seen.

  “So, let’s find somewhere to eat.” Cody arrives just as we get our food. He’s holding a cardboard box full of hamburgers and fries.

  “How many people are you feeding?” I ask him. He just laughs.

  “We need to find a table. I don’t want to eat standing up and I don’t think we can all sit on Ryan’s lap,” he says, instead of answering me.

  I get a sudden image of Clare sitting on my knee, eating her lunch as I wheel her around the room to the sound of romantic music and say intelligent things that make her smile sweetly.

  “Here, you hold the food and I’ll drive,” Clare interrupts my vision while I sit there with a goofy grin on my face.

  We move toward the tables in the dim hope of finding a few spaces to squeeze into.

  “Oh, perfect! I know them,” Clare says as she veers left and heads over to a spot by the wall that’s crammed full of loud, colorful people, who are all filling their faces and talking at the same time.

  And right there in the middle of them is Jack.

  He’s sitting quietly, looking around the table with a small, shy smile. He doesn’t exactly look like part of the crowd, but he doesn’t look unhappy or bored like he did yesterday either.

  “Hi!” I say to him as we approach, trying not to sound too relieved. He looks at me warily, probably expecting me to bitch him out for not texting me or something.

  He did say he would text. And he didn’t do it. But I’m keeping my mouth shut this time.

  “This is cool! I didn’t realize that your friend was hanging out with some of mine, although I shouldn’t be surprised. Bainesville is pretty small,” Clare says to me, looking pleased.

  She walks up to the guy sitting beside Jack at the end of the table and gives him a big kiss on the cheek. He’s not in a character costume, at least not one that I recognize. He’s wearing a hot-pink, shiny-looking shirt under a black vest that’s covered in colored button things that sparkle in the lights. He’s got earrings in both ears that match his shirt. His eyes are blue with heavy black makeup outlining them in a way that makes them jump out of his face. Right now they’re jumping out at Clare.

  “Hey! Can we squeeze in here with you guys?” Clare asks as he grins at her. The guy…or someone I’m pretty sure is a guy…sitting across from him grabs Clare and pulls her over to his side and down onto his lap, which is covered in white leggings that sparkle even more than the colored buttons do. He’s also wearing a tight white top under a fur-lined cape. His hair is a flowing white wig. Clare giggles as she lands.

  “You look gorgeous! Emma Frost is a good look on you, Lucas,” she says, helping herself to a couple of the fries sitting in front of him. She looks over at me.

  “Ryan, come and meet my brother Lucas and a few of our friends!”

  Her brother? Seriously? I put what I hope is a cool expression on my face.

  “Hi. I’m Ryan.” My voice drops down to a lower pitch than usual as I reach over to shake his hand, wondering if it’s the right move. His fingernails look like shimmering silver talons. I hope he doesn’t impale me with them. He grabs my hand and gives it a hard shake that I feel right up to my shoulder, staring at me with eyes almost hidden by the longest, thickest eyelashes I’ve ever seen.

  “Oh, so you’re the guy!” he says, as Clare slaps her hand over his mouth.

  “Lucas, shut up!” she says, flushing a little. Lucas just laughs and pushes her hand away.

  “Oh, don’t worry, I won’t embarrass you. Much. Come join us. This is Owen,” he says, point
ing at the guy in the vest. “And this is Caleb.” He gestures toward the guy sitting beside Jack, who definitely doesn’t look like Wonder Woman today. He’s wearing jeans and a black T-shirt that shows off some impressive muscles that obviously weren’t sewn into his shirt like Cody’s. His hair is buzzed right down to the skull so I can’t even figure out the color. He has that unshaven thing going on that would take me about a month without gluing on fake facial hair. He smiles slightly, giving me a little two finger salute.

  “You’re Jack’s friend,” he says, glancing sideways at Jack. “Nice to meet you.” He sweeps his arm across the table. “This is everyone else.”

  They all wave or smile at us. Jack looks a little shocked by the two-worlds-colliding situation.

  Clare is smiling happily at her brother. “I figured we’d run into you guys eventually. I think half the population is crammed into this place today.”

  “Yeah, the weird and wonderful half,” Lucas says, making her laugh. Clare doesn’t seem to think her brother is weird at all. Just wonderful. She’s looking at him like he’s her favorite person in the world.

  Which gives me a quick stab of jealousy that’s too stupid to think about.

  There are probably a dozen people here. Mostly guys but a few girls also. Some are dressed…normally, I guess, although I’m not sure what that means anymore. The rest are about half-and-half split between character costumes I recognize and the way that Owen guy is dressed—as in, the kind of clothes that would make people at home stare and point and wonder what the hell is going on.

  Which reminds me.

  I look over to where Cody is standing and staring around the table, eyes wide behind his mask. Sophia has already found herself a spot at the table and is beckoning to him to join her. He looks like he can’t move, feet glued to the floor for a change, as he tries to figure out what he’s supposed to do next.

  I guess Captain America doesn’t have all the answers after all.

  Twenty-Five

  It’s fun watching Cody try to decide how to fit in with this particular crowd. No one is paying much attention to him except for Sophia, who alternates between stealing food from everyone and calling her hero over to cuddle with her.

  Jack is far enough away from the spot I managed to squeeze into that we can’t have a conversation. Every once in a while he looks over at me with suspicious eyes, even though it’s obvious that I’m only here because Clare is. I’m definitely the follower in this relationship.

  Not that we have a relationship. I just met her yesterday. She probably sees me as an interesting guy who’s here today and gone tomorrow.

  I watch her talking with her brother and everyone else at the table. Even though her costume has no sequins or brilliant colors, she’s the brightest person here, almost as if there’s some kind of spotlight shining down on her. Everyone smiles at her, like she’s their little sister.

  Her brother catches me studying her and grins at me with silver lips. I feel my cheeks flare up enough that no makeup in the world could mask it. He grins wider and winks. I wonder if those lashes make it hard to keep his eyes open.

  “Ryan, do you mind if I tell my brother about the news story on you?” Clare asks, leaning close to me so no one else hears, so close that I can feel her breath on my ear. It’s warm and soft but it makes me shiver a little.

  “Not here!” I shake my head so hard that my wig shifts. Clare looks startled.

  “Okay. Sorry. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you. I just thought he’d be interested.” She looks apologetic. She shouldn’t be sorry. I’m the one who lied to her.

  “It’s okay. I just would prefer to keep it between us for now,” I say lamely, glancing over at Jack. I realize what I’m doing a split second too late. Clare looks at him and then at me.

  “So, Ryan. I hear you’re a jock,” Lucas says loudly, before I can decide what I’m supposed to do next.

  “Yeah, swim team. Just high school.”

  “What do you mean, just high school. Our team is the best in the county. We kick ass everywhere we go!” Cody finally gets his feet unstuck and comes over to the table. He goes over to Sophia, who leaps to her feet with a mega-watt smile and gives him her chair before sitting on his lap.

  “Okay. Should I assume you’re a jock too?” Lucas asks Cody, who nods proudly.

  “Captain of the team!”

  Jack rolls his eyes and I grin at him.

  “Does Steve know about your promotion?” I ask Cody, who ignores me completely.

  “He’s not the captain?” Clare asks me, turning away from the speed eating display.

  “Only in his own mind. Which is enough for him. He does boss the rest of us around, so I guess we feed into his delusions.”

  “I think he was a bit out of his element at first, but now he looks pretty comfortable,” Clare says. We both watch him as he tells a joke that we can’t hear the punch line to. I have a quick dose of panic, hoping that he is aware of his audience. I imagine he has a lot of really ignorant jokes up his sleeve that wouldn’t go over very well here. But everyone laughs when he stops talking so I guess he’s figured it out. Or was it just dumb luck?

  “Yeah, Cody doesn’t usually have any trouble talking to people. He’s like a giant human magnet most of the time.”

  “Jack seems a bit shyer, but he looks like he’s having a good time.” Clare’s right. He’s looking like life is a lot more interesting today than it was yesterday.

  “He’s pretty shy compared to Cody. Then again, most people are. Speaking of Cody, I think we should get him out of here while the going is good. I’m not sure how funny the next joke will be.” Clare looks at me curiously. I just shrug my shoulders and smile. I don’t want to tell her that I’m afraid the next joke will feature words like fag or dyke.

  “We’re going to head off now. Nice to meet you,” I say to Lucas. He reaches over and shakes my hand again, holding it just a bit longer and tighter than he has to.

  “Nice to meet you too. Take care of my little sister,” he says, as she play punches him in the arm before kissing his cheek.

  I push back from the table and wheel over to Cody.

  “We don’t have a lot of time left. I think we should go check out a few more things.” I have to shout to make myself heard over whatever loud story he’s telling. He stops talking and looks at me as if he’s surprised I’m still here. He takes his phone out and looks at it.

  “Shit. You’re right. We’d better motor.” He lifts Sophia off his lap and stands up. He does a knightly bow to everyone at the table, which makes them laugh. I go over closer to Jack.

  “Do you want to come with us?” I ask him, trying not to shout. He looks at me for a second and then over at Caleb.

  “Um. No. I think I’ll just stick here for a bit. I’ll meet you at the end of the day.”

  I nod, biting my tongue so I don’t ask him if he’s okay or if he needs anything.

  We say our good-byes and then head off into the hallway, stopping every thirty seconds so that Cody can get a selfie with each character that interests him.

  A couple of people even asked if they could have a selfie with me today, although I’m not sure if that’s because they thought I was a kick-ass Wolverine or because of the novelty factor. I guess it doesn’t matter. I said yes, which was definitely the right answer because both times Clare sat on the arm of my chair and put her arm around my shoulder.

  “So, have you thought much about what you want to do after high school?” Clare asks me. We’re waiting in yet another lineup. This time it’s to have our pictures taken with the one star they could get to come here from Cody’s favorite sci-fi show. I don’t think either of the girls even knows who the guy is, and the show isn’t one of my favorites, but apparently there was a vote, and Cody’s pick won. I’m pretty sure Cody is the only one who voted.

  “No. I mean, I want
to go to college. But I’m not sure what for. I’ve even thought of coming here to Bainesville U.” Especially now.

  “It’s a pretty good school. But I’m applying all over the place. I think I’d like to go away to school. But I still have two more years of high school so I have time to think about it. I love science. I think I’d like to be an astrophysicist.”

  “That sounds impressive. Then again, I’m not sure what an astrophysicist even does.” Playing the stupid card. Impressive.

  “It’s basically using physics and chemistry to figure out where the stars and planets and all the other objects floating around in the universe come from. Like the big bang theory.”

  “I love that show!” Cody interrupts, holding his phone up and taking a picture of the lineup. Clare just laughs.

  “Me too.”

  “I think Cody wants to be an Avenger when he finishes school,” I say to her.

  “I think he wants to be one right now.” We watch as he runs up and down the line, taking pictures and talking to everyone he meets. Sophia is watching him too, the look in her eyes making it very clear that he’s already her hero.

  I wish Clare would look at me like that.

  “So, why are we in this lineup again?” she asks, looking at the bodies snaking toward a very distant doorway.

  “Mostly because Captain America told us to,” I tell her, making her laugh again. I like making her laugh.

  We keep chatting and watching Cody for another twenty minutes before finally getting our chance to have a two-second photo shoot with an actor that only one out of the four of us is even remotely interested in. We wait around for the printed photos, which we have to pay for even though Cody is the only one who wanted them. By the time we finish all that, it’s actually time to get ourselves out to the car and head for home.

  “I can’t believe you have to go already!” Sophia says sadly, holding on to Cody’s arm.

  “Well, I’d stay longer, but young Ryan here has an early bedtime so we have to go,” he says, smiling sweetly in my direction. I offer him a suggestion with my middle finger, quickly putting it back down when I see Clare notice. She just grins.