The Stone Rainbow Read online

  “This place is totally boring and backward. I can’t wait until we figure out how to visit Bainesville again.” I walk up the steps on the other side of the ramp, staying as close to Ryan as I can so we can keep talking. Bainesville is about three hours away from here. It isn’t what you would call a huge city, but it’s a lot bigger than this little dot on the map stuck in the middle of farm country. Big enough to have a Comic Con festival once a year, not to mention a university for me to escape to someday.

  “Me too! If I don’t get there in person soon, Clare will forget how much more handsome I am in real life than on the computer!”

  “Gag me with a spoon!” Cody says, coming up behind us and pushing Ryan the rest of the way up the ramp without asking first.

  “Sure, pop down to the cafeteria and grab one, and I’ll be happy to.” Ryan looks up at Cody and laughs.

  “Yeah, yeah. You and what army? So, you guys are wanting to go to Bainesville again? Visit all the girls?” He’s trying to get my reaction to his homophobic wit, so I just stare at him, keeping my face impassive.

  “Cody! Please don’t be a total asshole in the first five minutes of the day. Okay?” Ryan sounds pissed but is smiling a little at the same time. He can never decide if he loves Cody or wants to punch him. I don’t have the same confusion. I pretty much always want to punch him.

  Cody went to the same Comic Con as I did, but he apparently met completely different people from me. When he was introduced to Caleb, Lucas, and the rest of their group, he just saw a bunch of freaks—fags and cross-dressers, with a couple of pretty girls thrown in for him to have someone to hit on. I know he thinks I’m a freak, and I’m pretty sure he’s afraid I’m going to hit on him some day…because all gay guys are obviously on the prowl for obnoxious homophobes who think they’re the center of the universe. Right.

  I seriously wish I’d never told Cody. My mouth got away from me when he managed to piss me off one night in the hotel room, and now he’s one of the few people who know, even though he’s the last person I meant to tell. I don’t have to worry about him keeping my secret though. He’s terrified of someone finding out that he actually associates with the guy everyone assumes is gay, so we do our swimming lessons when no one else is around, and he does his best to pretend he doesn’t even know me the rest of the time. So, my secret will stay a rumor for now.

  “Who the hell is that person sitting at St. Clair’s desk?” Cody is standing in front of the VP’s office and staring inside. There is a woman sitting there, working on the computer. I can’t see her very well because Cody’s in my way.

  “That would be our new VP. Not that I can see anything from back here.” Ryan’s behind both of us, straining to see around our butts.

  “New VP!” Cody jumps back, smashing into me and shouting so loudly that the woman glances over toward where I’m trying to catch my balance. She smiles, and Cody just spins away and goes over to the other side of the hall, where he leans dejectedly against the wall. Ryan follows him over. I follow Ryan because I don’t want to be left standing there gawking.

  “What the hell?” Cody seems honestly upset, which is weird on all kinds of levels. He fought with St. Clair pretty much on a daily basis. He’s spent more time in detention because of that guy than anyone I know. He should be turning cartwheels instead of seeming like he’s about to cry.

  “Mom told me St. Clair decided to take early retirement. He told the board a couple of weeks ago but decided not to tell us for whatever weird reason. Maybe he didn’t want to watch everyone cheering at the news or something.” Ryan grins, but Cody is still looking like he just lost his best friend or something. I’m starting to think that he might have actually liked being the center of Mr. St. Clair’s attention, even if it was mostly negative.

  “What an asshole,” Cody says, shaking his head slightly.

  “I thought you’d be thrilled. You hate the guy.” Ryan is confused.

  “I do hate the guy. I am thrilled. This is my thrilled face.” Cody smiles and manages to look like a demented gargoyle instead of someone who just got rid of his arch nemesis.

  “Man, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were sad that St. Clair is gone,” Ryan says, as he stares at Cody’s face. Cody sneers down at him.

  “Then you obviously don’t know much. This is awesome. I have someone new to break in.”

  “Or maybe that’s someone new to break. Pretty sure you’re the reason St. Clair left.” Cody nods a little, looking kind of proud.

  “Could be true. I guess it’s the New Year so why not have a new VP? I can make one of those resolutions to make sure she has a wonderful start to her brief time here. Talk to you later. I have work to do.” He grins as he pushes himself off the wall and heads down the hallway. St. Clair is probably already a distant memory to him. Cody has the attention span of a mosquito.

  “I guess we’d better get to class too. Meet you at lunch?” Ryan reaches down and unlocks his wheels.

  “Yeah, see you then.” I go down to my locker as Ryan wheels the opposite way. I have math this morning, which I hate, and art, which I love. I’m actually pretty good at drawing. Ryan and I have been working on a graphic novel together recently. That might be why I have gargoyles on the brain. I’ve drawn about a hundred of them over the past two weeks for Ryan’s weird story about stone gargoyles that scope out bullies from the top of the school during the day, then come to life and beat them into submission at night. I wish I could draw so many that they actually fly off the page and start guarding the school.

  Math class is as mind numbingly boring as I expected it to be. It’s not that I find it difficult. I usually get decent marks in math, but I still have trouble getting excited about discovering the wonderful world of variables and equations.

  Art class is a whole different situation. My father would say that art is a lot less useful than math. If he had his way, I’d be quitting this class, the same way he made me quit singing lessons when I was younger. But he left us last year, so he doesn’t have his way anymore…about anything.

  Art makes me feel the same as music always did, as if I can disappear into another world where I set the rules. When I draw, it feels like I’m singing with my hands, creating something beautiful that’s mine and that no one else can take away from me.

  “That’s gorgeous!” I’m deep into my art zone, focused on blending the paints in my watercolor sky so that they feel like a gentle sunrise on a spring morning after a rainy night. I’m trying to create one of those faint rainbows that you see but aren’t entirely sure is there, like an echo of lost color. The voice startles me, and I accidently knock over my water jar. It misses my painting but the water flies directly at me, splashing my sweater and dripping down into my lap.

  “Crap!” I jump to my feet, brushing myself off.

  “Oh my god, I’m sorry!” I look up. The voice belongs to a face that I’ve never seen before. I stare at it, wondering who it is while I try to remember how to talk.

  Gorgeous is the right word. Dark chocolate-colored eyes with little flecks of gold that literally sparkle out at me as if someone drew them there with metallic paint. Long black eyelashes, so thick that Lucas would kill for them. Chestnut-brown hair that actually shines like a shampoo commercial and is long enough to be tied back into a ponytail that probably got some people talking when they saw him coming down the hall in this school full of buzz cuts. Tall—taller than Cody—with wide shoulders and arms that I imagine are pretty toned under his bright red sweater.

  “What?” Oh, good. That’s a brilliant response.

  “I said I’m sorry I startled you. I’m glad the water didn’t wreck your painting. I hope you’re not too soaked.” His voice matches his looks. It sounds like he should be narrating movies or reading the news on TV.

  “Soaked? Oh, no. Just a little damp.” I brush a bit at my sweater, trying to look cool and probably not suc
ceeding. He’s smiling at me, and I can feel my cheeks turning red. My stomach is jumping around as if I’m nervous, which doesn’t make sense because there’s nothing to be nervous about just because some guy made me spill my water.

  “Well, good. I wouldn’t want to make enemies on my first day. I’m Benjamin, by the way.” He holds out his hand to shake. I reach mine toward him but snatch it back quickly when I realize that it’s wet from my sweater. I wipe it down the side of my pant leg and then take his hand and give it a quick shake. My stomach goes into overdrive.

  “Hi. I’m Jack. Jackson.” Why’d I say that? I never use my full name. Most people around here don’t even know my name is Jackson. I’ve always sort of thought it would just add to my problems. Jack sounds shorter and less sweet.

  “Nice to meet you, Jackson. Guess I should let you go and finish your work.”

  Say something intelligent. Or funny. Welcome him to the school. Ask him to lunch.

  “Yeah, I guess.” Oh, perfect. Really warm and welcoming.

  I watch him go over to the other side of the room and sit down, trying not to punch myself in the forehead. What’s wrong with me? I’m not exactly a social whiz kid, but I’m usually at least capable of basic speech.

  I look back at my painting, trying to remember what I was doing with it, but there seems to be an insect colony trying to get loose in my gut and I can’t concentrate. I take another look across the room and accidentally catch his eye. He grins and gives me a little wave. I can feel my cheeks flare up again, and I quickly shift my gaze to my work.

  I can’t believe he caught me looking. This is so embarrassing.

  Then it occurs to me that if he caught me looking, he was looking too. The thought fills my stomach with hyperactive buzzing as the insect colony breaks free, flying around and around until my whole body feels like it’s vibrating and I’ve completely forgotten what I’m supposed to be doing.

  three

  A whole week has disappeared, and I haven’t talked to Benjamin again. I’ve been doing my best to watch everything he does and avoid him at the same time, which is a lot harder than it sounds. It is seriously starting to make my brain hurt, but I can’t seem to make myself stop. I think about him all the time even though I don’t know anything about him except his name and the fact that he’s the son of the new VP, Mrs. Lee. Which means he’s from the city, according to Ryan, and would never be interested in some little townie like me.

  Not that he’d be interested anyway. I don’t know what I’m saying, even in my own mind! I’ve never been attracted to anyone live and in person before. There never seemed to be any point, seeing as I’m only interested in guys, and I don’t know of any guys in our town who would be caught dead or alive looking at me.

  I also don’t know what the deal is with Benjamin. Why am I breaking my self-imposed rule about even imagining futile relationships with real people who go to my school or live in my town? Maybe it’s because he’s from somewhere else and seems different from everyone around here. I don’t know. He probably has a girlfriend back home who texts him every five minutes and is just waiting for him to come home once his mother-imposed exile is over.

  He seems like such a nice guy. He’s always talking to people, making them smile. The girls have noticed him by now, and there’s always someone following him around, trying to get his attention. I follow him around too, but far enough away that I’m making sure I don’t get his attention. He doesn’t need another stalker.

  “Have you met the new guy yet?” Ryan’s voice interrupts my thoughts and I jump guiltily. We’re at his locker, getting ready to go home, and I’ve been staring at Benjamin down at the other end of the hall. Did Ryan notice?

  “Um, no. Not really. Well…kind of. I guess. He’s in my art class.” Very smooth, Jack. He’ll never suspect a thing.

  “He seems okay. He’s in my English class. We’ve talked a few times. He’s actually from the same city where I had my last couple of surgeries. It’s like five or six hours from here by car and about twice the size of Bainesville, so he’ll find this place small.”

  “Oh. That’s interesting.” Or not. Figures that Ryan would have more in common with him than I do.

  “He wasn’t super thrilled that he had to move here in senior year, but his mom really wanted the job, so he didn’t have a choice. I bet it sucks to be in a new school in your last year and be the kid of the VP though.” He puts a couple of books into his bag and slams his locker shut.

  I just nod and follow him to the front door, taking a quick look over my shoulder as we go. I just about pass out when my eyes instantly latch onto Benjamin’s face, which is now about an arm’s length behind me. Close enough to touch but a million light years away. He grins at me, and I smile back quickly before turning around and grabbing the back of Ryan’s chair, pretending he needs my help.

  “I’m good, Jack,” Ryan says, sounding mildly pissed with me as he puts extra force into wheeling himself so that I’ll let go. If I was Cody, he’d let me push him from here to the next county.

  We head down the sidewalk in silence. I’m beside him, speed walking so that I can keep up. He wheels fast, especially on the way home from school because it’s mostly downhill. We get to the corner in less than ten minutes.

  “Do you want to come with me and see if my mom has something worth eating at the restaurant?” There are two alternating so-called chefs at the restaurant where my mom works as a waitress and knowing who’s working on a particular day makes a huge difference to the number of stomach cramps you’ll have after eating there.

  “No, I don’t think I have time today. I have a stupid English essay due next week that I haven’t started. My mom made me promise to get a rough draft done today so that she can edit it with me. The joys of having a principal for a parent.”

  “At least she’s not the principal at your school.”

  “Yeah, that’s true. I’ve never been in the same school as her. It’s hard enough having her riding my ass over homework at home. I think that Benjamin kid might have trouble with some guys at school if his mom starts getting on their case.”

  “Kids like Cody?”

  “Oh, definitely Cody. He’s already been to the office once since she got here. I’m sure he’ll be trying to take it out on her kid. He’s such a jerk sometimes.”

  One of these days I’m going to ask him why that jerk is the only person he ever allows to help him.

  “How did you know that Clare was the one?” I ask instead, surprising both of us. Ryan isn’t a big fan of talking about his feelings. Or anything else remotely personal.

  “The one what?” he asks. There’s no smile so I can’t tell if he’s kidding or not.

  “The one you want to…be with, date, whatever you call it.”

  He squints up at me, with one hand shielding his eyes from the sun. “I’m not sure. She’s beautiful and nice. Smart and funny.”

  “Lots of girls are all those things but don’t live three hours away. There has to have been something about her that was different to make it worth the effort.” He shrugs, still squinting and shielding. He closes his eyes for long enough that I can’t tell if he’s thinking or passed out.

  “I think…it was the way she looked.”

  “You already said she’s beautiful.”

  “No, I don’t mean that. I mean the way she looked at me, not to me. It was like she actually saw me.” I’m not sure what he means so I don’t say anything. My face obviously says enough because he smiles and tries again.

  “Most girls I meet see a guy in a chair. Sometimes they see the guy first and the chair second, and sometimes it’s the other way around. But they always see both as separate things and are super aware of the fact that I can’t walk. That usually ends the relationship before it starts. Clare saw a guy who happens to be in a chair, like it’s a piece of me and it matters but at the same time
it doesn’t. It’s kind of like the way Cody has always been with me. I’m just another guy to him, not some handicapped kid. Does that make any sense?”

  “Yeah, actually, I think I get what you’re saying.” Now that he’s said it, I can see what he means about Cody. He treats Ryan like anyone else, bugging him and giving him a hard time and then casually helping him like it’s no big deal.

  “Why are you asking?”

  “I don’t know. Just been thinking about relationships recently,” I answer. Ryan nods slightly.

  “Well, if you need relationship advice, maybe you should call Clare. She loves talking about relationships. Mostly ours, but I’m sure she’d be more than happy to talk to you.”

  “You wouldn’t mind?”

  “Why would I mind? It’s not like you’re going to try to steal her away, right?”

  He grins. I smile back. A gay joke. That’s cool. He usually avoids the topic. He was the first person I came out to in this town, and he’s mostly fine with it, so long as we don’t talk about it. Out of sight, out of mind.

  Or better yet, not out at all.

  Clare might be the perfect person to talk to about Benjamin. Better than Ryan, who is definitely not ready to give me relationship advice unless I suddenly develop a passion for girls. Even then, I think he’d pass me on to Clare.

  “I’ll text you her contact info, but I think she already friended you on Facebook, right? Just a warning that she’ll want to put you on-screen because she says it’s better to interact with someone when you can look them in the eyes.”