Caterpillars Can't Swim Read online

  “Come on, Ryan. Everyone is still wondering why he tried to kill himself, and I think that you’re the only one who’s got the inside track, so you need to give up some answers. That’s fair.”

  “No one even knows for sure that’s what he was doing. What’s fair is leaving the guy the hell alone!” The words slap at him and he looks at me, surprised.

  “Hey, don’t bitch me out. I don’t spread the rumors. I just listen to them. Besides, if I left the guy alone, he’d have had the shit kicked out of him. Or did you forget?” He holds up his uninjured fist and shadow boxes the air in front of my face.

  “No, great hero of the masses. I did not forget. Hopefully Matt and Craterface didn’t either.”

  “Craterface? Oh, you mean Shawn. That’s awesome! A much better name for him. I think I’ll use it next time I see him.”

  “That’ll help you keep the peace.” I shake my head at him. He just laughs.

  “Have they bugged you again? Or Jack?”

  “Not yet.”

  “They won’t. They’re scared of the Code Man.”

  “Code Man?”

  “Yeah, me!” He points at his chest, then gives himself a thumbs up. I wonder what it would be like to love yourself that much.

  “Yeah, I got that. So, is your super power creating codes or breaking them?” He looks at me like I just started speaking Spanish…a subject Cody failed two years in a row because he forgot to go to most of the classes.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Nothing. Anyway, Code Man, you have to decide if we’re going together or not.”

  “You never answered me about Jack.”

  “Does the answer matter?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know any gay guys. At least I don’t think I do. Unless your spending all that time with Jack means something you want to share…?” He smiles and raises his eyebrows.

  “Screw off.”

  “Gay guy in a wheelchair. Two strikes!” He laughs and tries to high-five me but I keep my hands down.

  Gay guy in a wheelchair. Would that be two strikes?

  I guess I only have one strike in Cody’s world. I like girls. A lot. My problem is that I don’t know how to talk to them. When I try to talk to a girl, my tongue gets as messed up as my legs, as if it’s tied up in plastic braces and can’t move properly.

  Of course, I could never talk to Cody about it. He wouldn’t get it. He’s tall, athletic, funny, and easygoing. He’s never had any problems finding female company.

  “You are such an asshole,” I tell him. He stares at me for a couple of seconds and then smiles, shaking his head.

  “You are such a jerk, Ryan. Seriously. I can’t believe we have to bring a gay kid to Comic Con. He’s not going to hit on me, is he?”

  “You don’t know that he’s gay. And even if he is, I’m sure he could resist you.”

  “I don’t know. I’m pretty sexy,” he says, grinning full on.

  “So, you’re okay with this?”

  “Nope. Not even close. But I want to go. And I want to go with you because we planned it whether you actually remember that or not, so I guess your little buddy can come along if he has to. We’ll just stay away from large bodies of water, and I’ll try to tone down my sex appeal. Good enough?”

  “Good enough. Sort of. Anyway, we’ll talk about the rest of it later.” I start wheeling my way into the house.

  “The rest of it? What do you mean, the rest of it?” His voice trails after me as I make my getaway. I don’t want to talk about Jacob in this exact moment. I’m pretty sure Cody had plans for a motel. I’m also pretty sure that Jack’s mother wouldn’t be thrilled with that plan. Mine either.

  But I’ll save that whole conversation for another day.

  Now, while I’m on a roll…so to speak…I’m going to find Jack and tell him. This day is just going to keep getting better and better.

  I find him at the restaurant, just ending a shift, and decide to tell him ripping-off-the-bandage style—just a quick tug followed by a stinging sensation and then it’s all over.

  “No way!” He looks at me like I’m totally crazy. Which is probably fair.

  “Sorry, I should have told you before. The whole trip was actually his idea in the first place.”

  “Cody. For a whole weekend. Does he know you invited me?”

  “Yeah, and he’s cool with it.” I’m hoping he can’t hear the lie.

  “I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I mean, I appreciate that he’s been protecting us and everything, but other than that Cody isn’t much different from any of the other guys around here. It’s going to feel like we never left Thompson Mills.”

  “I really want you to come, and since it’s basically Cody’s trip, not to mention the fact that he’s also our ride, he has to come too. He won’t do anything stupid. It will be fine.” There’s that word again.

  “He’s our ride! Are you serious? The guy is totally hyper. I finally managed to persuade my mother that nothing bad is going to happen if she lets me go. You’re sure he isn’t going to drive us into a tree?” Jack’s eyes are wide and worried.

  “He’s actually a better driver than you’d think. He’s had his license for almost a year and so far hasn’t cracked up any cars or people…that I know of.” Cody’s a year older than Jack and me, due to some “issues” in elementary school that had him repeating a grade, and he got his license in the first possible second that he was old enough. He lives on a farm and has been driving the family’s old truck around the property since he was about twelve. As long as he remembers we’re on a road and not cruising down the back forty, we should be fine. I hope.

  “Oh, well that’s good. I feel a lot better now.” He’s obviously not convinced.

  “It’s going to be fine. Better than that. It will be fun. A whole weekend away from here with our own ride and some independence for a change.” Even though I’m likely going to be playing referee the whole weekend.

  Jack takes a deep breath.

  “I’m probably going to regret this but I guess I’ll come. Now that my mother said yes, I don’t really want to go backwards and tell her I’m not going. That would probably give her something new to worry about. She likes to worry. Which makes me a good son for her, I guess.”

  “All mothers like to worry. It’s in the job description. My mother took almost as much persuading as yours did.” Once my mom knew that Jack was coming along, she wasn’t exactly jumping over the moon. But my powers of persuasion are legendary.

  Of course, I also heard my father telling her that it’s time for her to loosen the umbilical cord a little and let me grow up. Mom’s not the only serial eavesdropper in the house. Ricky and I have perfected the art of finding places where we can overhear our parents’ conversations.

  “I guess. My mom does a really good job of it.” Jack rolls his eyes.

  “Have you got your costume ready yet?”

  “Not exactly. Working on it.”

  “Well, let me know if you need any help.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be fine. Anyway, I have to go. Talk to you later.” He doesn’t look exactly excited.

  Shit. This is going to be nuts. I don’t want to go on a trip with these two guys. I started all this by accident.

  So why am I trying to persuade everyone that this is the greatest idea of the century?

  Seventeen

  The rest of the school year crawled along at its usual breakneck speed, making it seem like summer was never going to come.

  Not that summer is as exciting as it used to be when we were younger. Cody and Jack have both been working pretty much full-time since classes ended, so right now I’m not seeing much of either of them. I was supposed to try to get a job this year, too, but my mom took pity on me and said I should spend the time getting better and working o
n my swimming instead. I wasn’t sure what I was going to be able to find in town anyway. I can’t exactly clear tables at the Supe, like Jack. The aisles in that place are narrow, and I’d be knocking waitresses over left and right.

  Most of the stores in town have the same kids who come back year after year, and there are seldom any new job options. And if there were, I’d probably not be their first choice. There isn’t exactly stellar accessibility in our town yet, except in the bigger chain stores out on the highway, which isn’t close enough to get to without help. I suppose if I really took the time to go in and talk to a few managers, I’d find someone willing to try to figure out something for me, but for this summer, I’m happy with the reprieve.

  My shoulder feels more like it’s slogging through mud than slicing through the water, so even though I managed to get back in to a couple of team practices before the year ended, I mostly worked by myself off to one side while Steve gave me the stink eye from the other side of the pool. I’m trying not to panic, trying to believe Cody when he says that I’m improving. I know I have to be patient, that if I work it the wrong way, I’ll just make things worse and I won’t even get back on the team full-time by fall.

  Assuming I’m still around in the fall. First I have to survive a road trip with two guys who want to be anywhere but with each other.

  Jack’s level of enthusiasm for the trip didn’t exactly increase with time, but he didn’t back out either. Which is good, I guess.

  Cody has finally stopped bitching about Jack coming with us, but he apparently has strong opinions about the rest of my plan.

  “No way! I already booked us a motel.”

  “I didn’t know you were going to do that. I’ve already talked to Jacob and he’s expecting us.”

  “His parents are expecting us you mean.”

  “Well, yeah, they’ll be there too. It’s their house. Jacob is a good guy. You’ll like him.” I don’t know if that’s true or not. I haven’t actually seen him in years.

  “I’m sure your friend is very nice and everything, but this is our trip. We didn’t plan on parental supervision when we talked about it last fall. It’s enough that your friend Jackie baby is coming. I’m not giving up the rest of the trip just because his mommy doesn’t think he’s old enough for a motel.” He looks at me, disgusted. I’ve been doing laps while he finished up his lifeguarding shift, and we’re sitting on the edge of the pool while I catch my breath.

  “It isn’t just his mom. Mine was worried about where we were going to stay, too, and only calmed down when I told her about Jacob.” She more than calmed down. She was pretty close to thrilled that I’d be safely in someone’s house with his parents standing guard.

  “This is stupid. You’re seventeen now. I’m turning eighteen soon. We’re freaking old enough to go away on our own for a couple of days.” I shift over a little, trying to keep out of easy pushing range. I’m not ready for another dip just yet.

  “I know that. You know that. But my mother doesn’t. If you want me to come, then we have to have my mom onside.”

  Cody has both fists clenched like he wants to punch something. He sits like that for a few seconds and then suddenly jumps to his feet, teetering a bit on the edge of the pool until I think he’s going to fall in. He catches his balance and smiles.

  “I have an idea!”

  That’s never good. Cody’s ideas haven’t historically been the kind that end well.

  “We say we’re going to your friend’s place but we really go to the motel. No one has to know. Not even Jack, so that he doesn’t have to actually lie to his mommy. We can tell him your friend got sick or something last minute and we had to find somewhere different to stay.”

  “So, I’d be the only one lying to my mom?” And to Jack.

  He looks at me, considering.

  “Well, no. I might as well lie too. Keep the stories straight just in case. Anyway, they’ll never find out. We’ll be keeping in contact through our cell phones so they wouldn’t have any idea where we’re staying.”

  “Knowing my mom, she has a tracking program.”

  “Your mom isn’t that paranoid. Is she?”

  “No, probably not.” I hope.

  “Okay, then. Compromise. We say we’re going to your friend’s place but we go to the Shady Rest Motel with a six-pack that I stole from my brother instead.”

  I think Cody needs to look up the definition of compromise. This seems more like a capitulation.

  “The Shady Rest Motel?”

  “The finest motel Bainesville has to offer.”

  “Seriously?”

  “No. It’s the only motel anywhere close that has any rooms left because it’s Comic Con weekend and the city only has two hotels. It’s about ten minutes outside of the city, but it’s better than nothing. And definitely better than going to someone’s house where we have to make nice for his parents.” He nods at himself, looking pleased with his own logic.

  I’m not sure about that. I was kind of looking forward to seeing Jacob. I met him after one of my surgeries back when I was twelve or thirteen. The rehab center had a program where older kids acted as mentors to younger ones. They helped with the actual exercises but also talked to us, gave advice, whatever worked. Jacob was one of the most popular volunteers. He was cool and funny. He made fun of the staff, held wheelchair races in the hallways, and told awesomely rude jokes that would have made my mother faint in horror. I actually think Cody would really like him.

  I only got to work with him for a few weeks, but we kept in touch a little bit online afterwards. I haven’t seen him live and in person since then, so it would be really nice to go to his place.

  My mother was really happy with the idea that I was going to see him again. All she remembers about Jacob is that he was a mature, responsible volunteer in a wheelchair who helped me through a tough time. She’d be hoping that he would give me equally mature, responsible advice about life as a young adult in a chair.

  Cody is splashing his feet in the water cheerfully, probably because he figures he’s won the argument. Which I guess he has. After all, he’s already given in on Jack coming with us. I can’t push this any further without royally pissing him off again.

  Looks like I’m not going to be seeing Jacob any time soon.

  “Okay,” I tell Cody, even though I’m pretty sure it’s not.

  I think Jack might pass out at the idea of The Shady Rest Motel and a six-pack. Cody might be right about keeping it from him until the last possible minute.

  Three weeks of lying to Jack. Not to mention my mother.

  Definitely a capitulation. I’m so screwed.

  Eighteen

  “Ready?”

  Cody bounces out of his brother’s car and runs up the ramp to where I’m sitting waiting on the front porch. It’s eight o’clock in the morning and we’re getting ready to head off to Bainesville.

  Somehow I got through the three weeks without saying the wrong thing to anyone. It’s pretty close to a miracle.

  The next miracle will be surviving the next two days. I’ve already been on the phone with Jack twice this morning, persuading him that everything is going to be okay.

  Now, who’s going to persuade me?

  “I guess so. Just let me tell my mom we’re heading out.” She’s been fussing around me all morning, making sure I have everything, checking my phone to make sure it’s working so she can call me every five minutes. Basically treating me like I’m seven instead of just turned seventeen. You’d think I was the first kid in the history of time who actually went away for a weekend without his mommy and daddy.

  She finally lets me back out the door, then stands in the living room window watching me transfer into the front seat of the car. She has a Kleenex pressed up against her face, which means the waterworks are starting again. I don’t know if she’s crying this time because
she’s worried or because I’m so grown up or because her favorite rosebush died.

  I don’t know what she’d be doing right now if she really knew the truth about our trip. She definitely thinks we’re staying with Jacob for the night, fully supervised by his parents. I’m not sure what she’d do if she knew that Cody talked me into going to a motel.

  Cody manages to fold my wheelchair and shoves it into the back of the SUV. He turns and waves cheerfully at my mother, who puts a brave smile on, waving back before she turns away, wiping at her eyes.

  “Your mom’s crying,” Cody says as he settles in to his seat and starts the car.

  “Yeah, she cries a lot.”

  “Probably tears of joy because she’s getting rid of you for a whole weekend.” He grins as he backs out onto the road. “My mom didn’t cry. She did a happy dance.”

  “I’m not surprised. I only have to put up with you for one weekend. She has you all the time.”

  “Ha-ha. You’d better be careful what you say to me. I have your life in my hands.” He takes both hands off the steering wheel and waves them in the air. He’d better not do that with Jack in the car.

  “Yeah, well try not to kill me in the first thirty seconds,” I say, reaching over to grab the steering wheel myself as he bats me away and puts his hands back where they should be.

  “Keep your hands to yourself! If you want to drive, get your license.”

  “Easy for you to say. I can do the written but I’m not sure how to practice driving. My dad’s car doesn’t have hand controls.”

  “I never thought of that. What’re you supposed to do then?”

  “I’m not exactly sure. I can’t afford to retrofit a car. You can buy portable controls but I’d still need someone to teach me how to use them, I think. I don’t know. My parents aren’t all that interested in me driving so we haven’t talked about it much. I’ve been trying to do some research so I guess I’ll start bugging them about it once I know what I’m talking about.”